Learning how to Deal with Betrayal

Betrayal can happen in many different ways and in many different kinds of relationships. It can be the most damaging when it occurs in families and can be between mother and father, parents and children or between siblings. Betrayal can cause irreparable damage to a relationship and can even tear families apart.

What is true Betrayal?

Sometimes we can feel betrayed when in fact the intention was not betrayal at all. For example, if your older sibling finds out you were drinking when you stayed out late they may tell your parents. This is not betrayal in the true sense of the word as they are trying to protect you from making further mistakes and betraying your parents trust. However when a spouse decides to cheat they know this is wrong and this is betrayal. When a child tells their parents they are going to the movies and goes to a party instead, this is also betrayal. Betrayal stems from deliberate lies that are used to cover up something you know is wrong.

How do we deal with Betrayal?

Trust can take years to build in a relationship. That is why in a family it is so important to wisely weigh all of your choices and consider the consequences of betraying a loved on. Between parents and children love is unconditional and therefore it is often easier to move on when a child lies. However it can still cause damage to the relationship and result in loss of freedom if parents no longer trust the child’s judgement. Between siblings trust is more fragile and can have very dire consequences depending on the depth of the betrayal. In marriage an affair can tear a marriage apart or end up making it stronger and therefore it is important to understand why it happened in order to ascertain if you can move forward together. How you deal with betrayal depends on the event. You can use Zoe Churches to guide you and help you learn how to process your feelings, forgive and let go of your anger. You can learn to assess the situation and decide if the gravity of the betrayal outweighs your love for the person. Using God’s love to guide you can help you regain faith in the person or recognize their betrayal is a sign it is time to forgive, but move on.

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